My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
