Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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