walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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