my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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