This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
