im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
