his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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