Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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