I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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