At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
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