just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
