somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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