Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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