Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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