p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
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its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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