I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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