Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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