Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
