God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
