a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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