i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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