Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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