If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
