I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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