YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
accomplished twins. life is a go
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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