I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
