My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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