you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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