I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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