Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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