hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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