You really coming over, don't trick.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
