Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
