You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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