he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
