Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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