hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
