But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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