Dude my mom stole all your condoms
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize