So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
