if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
