loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you will always have a special place in my vag
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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