So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
