the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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