You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
