well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
