I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
