Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Ketchup is God's man juice
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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