He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
