I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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