I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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