why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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