That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Enjoy the penises
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
