If that was your dad, he is hot
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
