They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
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There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
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