So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
