Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
